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Social Ineptitude Apr 13

I have no idea if that is a real phrase or not, but it does aptly describe me in most social situations, and I thought it was fitting subject matter while the Ultimate Blog Party is still going.

I am terrible at interacting with people. I am often inappropriate or sometimes incompetent at the way I handle people and situations “on the fly.” To the people who have received this behavior, I’m sorry. It’s something I will probably be working to correct for the rest of my life. Please know that I very rarely intend for my comments to be derogatory or degrading, but that my mouth says things before my brain gets to re-evaluate them and make sure they are the appropriate responses.

Merriam Webster defines ineptitude as the quality or state of being inept, and if you follow the link provided in the definition to inept, some synonyms provided are unfit, foolish, bungling, and awkward. I most identify with unfit and awkward. So much so that the thought of attending a social situation raises my anxiety level to a dangerously high place, and if it’s just me and/or my daughter that will be attending, I often find reasons not to attend. This is detrimental to myself and especially my daughter because we miss out on so many things because mommy’s afraid of looking foolish in public. One of my goals for the year (I’ll say for the year, but as I mentioned before, this is probably going to take quite a few years to really overcome) is to overcome my overly introverted personality so that I can create and enjoy more life experiences with my daughter and my husband.

While I might have serious anxiety issues about attending other people’s events, I LOVE to host parties. I like to organize them, cook for them, and then just chill while my friends enjoy the fruits of my labor. I like picking themes for the food that sometimes turn into themes for the kitchen or house. In fact, in my ideal stay at home mom world, I would have different kitchen linens and decorations for each holiday and season that comes along. I actually have a great majority of the linens and am working on decorations and the ability to not procrastinate in putting them out until it’s almost too late, like I did for Easter this year. We were decorated for Easter for all of… 3 days? The spring linens are still out, but the table is back to bare wood and I put all the egg decorations away. Any ideas for spring decorations? I seem to skip most of spring and go straight for the summer stuff, even though that doesn’t officially start until June and we have birthdays, Mother’s Day, and Memorial Day before that.

My social ineptitude has also played a large role in my love for blogging and the blogging communities. Blogging is a way for me to express myself and offer my opinion to the world for others to consider, whether that’s one person or 100. Ideally my input will have an impact on someone’s life and then it is a mutually beneficially relationship. Blogs have also plays a crucial role in easing my anxiety and frustration at being a new mom. There are others out there who feel the way I do! I am not alone, and therefore not a horrible parent for feeling and thinking some of the things I do. I love my daughter, but there are times I wish she could amuse herself for hours on end so I could reclaim some of my pre-baby activities with ease. Scrapbooking is a big one, because Aly wants to help and things get destroyed and don’t get finished. Another is being a real raider in World of Warcraft. I love raiding, but when raids require a minimum of a two hour commitment and can run (almost literally) all night, it’s just not possible for me to take care of everything I have to and commit to that. Luckily my guild allows me to raid when I can with minimal repercussions.

What pre-child activities do you miss the most? For those of you with older children, how many have you been able to reclaim as they get older?

Category: Getting to know me
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4 Responses
  1. Good grief…where do I start? I miss sleeping through the night EVERY night. I miss sitting on the couch in the morning and drinking coffee and watching the Today show instead of Curious George. I miss being able to take a nap in the middle of the day. I miss being able to stay up late enough so that I don’t actually need that nap in the middle of the day. I could go on, but I’ll stop…you get the idea!!

    EVERY parent misses their old life once in a while after kids and it is perfectly normal!!! I love my little guy more than anything on the face of the earth, but I enjoy a little “me” time too!

    GREAT blog!

  2. Crystal says:

    Hey, I’m new to your blog, and have to tell you, that I REALLY enjoyed this post. It’s crazy how things change after having a baby. I feel like I’m constantly adding too much to my plate in attempt to reclaim my before baby life 🙂 Funny how that is, but I need to just TRY to enjoy this time a little more, and know that the time will come when I will have more time than I even want, in the mean time missing the days when I was a young mother.

  3. Kel says:

    Too many answers!!! I miss reading, sleeping throughout the night, running outside (instead of on a treadmill), eating hot food, scrapbooking, playing the piano, doing gymnastics, etc… I’m now getting some time to myself, hence the blogging. I even decided to tackle my writing dream again. I started a new blog, A Writer’s Road, to document my journey. Check it out if you get a chance.

  4. […] seem like it’s been 10 years. I’ve changed a lot in that time frame, but I’m still pretty socially inept and still don’t think I’d be truly accepted by half the people in my graduating class. I’m […]